English
English
Moving to a new country is an exciting yet challenging life transition that involves both loss and growth. It means leaving behind the familiar—routines we’re accustomed to, family and friends, our mother tongue, the cultural norms that have shaped us, perhaps even our profession—and stepping into unfamiliar territory.
It’s a multi-dimensional transition: a physical and sensory change with new sights, smells, and sounds; a cognitive shift in how we perceive life, ourselves, and others; and, of course, an emotional journey filled with mixed feelings. Living abroad is full of contradictions: we can choose this life and still miss what we left behind, we can love our freedom yet miss having more support, we can feel like we don’t belong anywhere and at the same time feel fortunate to have more than one place to call home. This profound change can sometimes feel disorienting and impact our sense of security and self-esteem. It often raises questions about identity and belonging. Living abroad takes courage—it requires vulnerability, the willingness to ask questions, and showing up as our imperfect “work-in-progress” selves.
Despite the challenges, living as an expat holds unique opportunities for personal growth. It’s a chance to redefine who we are and uncover what truly matters to us, as well as a chance to develop resilience, expand creativity, improve life conditions, and much more.
Transitioning to a new country isn’t a linear process. As expats, we often move through phases of feelings like excitement, belonging, loneliness, and homesickness—not always in a fixed order.
Sometimes, the fantasy of life abroad clashes with the reality of navigating bureaucracy, learning a new language, starting a new job, or building relationships from scratch. The initial thrill of exploring new surroundings can give way to frustration.
Even after we feel more settled, cultural misunderstandings or times like holidays can stir unexpected emotions. This process doesn’t follow a set timeline. However, recognizing the dynamic, spiral nature of adjustment helps foster patience and self-compassion.
As expats, we can sometimes carry a burden of internalized expectations. After making the big step to leave our home country, there can be unspoken pressure to “make it worthwhile.” We might feel the need to prove—to ourselves or others—that we’ve succeeded in this new life.
Talking about the challenges of living abroad with people back home can also feel difficult. Sometimes there is a romanticized image of a “dream life abroad” that doesn’t really match the reality of life and can leave us feeling somewhat guilty or like a “failure” when we struggle. Acknowledging the gap between expectations and reality and normalizing it is an essential step toward self-acceptance.
Loneliness is one of the most common challenges we face as expats after leaving behind familiar relationships and support systems.
While it can be difficult, being away from the social environment that shaped us allows us to find more independence, a sense of competence, and space to reflect on our values and choices. Meeting new types of people can be an enriching and learning experience. With time, it’s possible to form meaningful relationships that feel almost like “family.”
It can also be hard to maintain connections with people in our country of origin, and sometimes we need to remind ourselves that they are still there for us. Keeping in touch can help integrate both worlds. It’s also important to see if it’s possible to be open and vulnerable about our expat experiences while listening to critical voices like “you should be doing great” or anything similar.
1. Embrace living abroad is a complex experience full of contradicting feelings. Allow yourself to grieve the losses and accept feelings like homesickness as natural. Resisting them can lead to frustration and self-criticism.
2. Focus on what you can control. Define what’s important to you and set intentions to stay aligned with your values. For example, if making connections is a priority, take small, actionable steps to meet new people while staying in touch with loved ones back home.
3. Establish routines that ground you in your new environment. Even something “small,” like finding a favorite café, can help feel more oriented and more at home. Also, consider what aspects of your old life you’d like to maintain—perhaps in a slightly different way. Slowly, you will make new memories and grow a stronger bond and attachment to where you are living now.
4. Adopt curiosity. Approach cultural differences with an open mind. Learning about local traditions and mentalities can help understand them better, feel less resistance, and even feel less misunderstood, while becoming more integrated.
5. Grow connections and seek support. Expand your support network through local groups or shared hobbies (local social media or WhatsApp groups often organize in-person meetups). Sharing your experience with close friends or other expats can help, as they often share similar feelings. Also, Therapy with someone who understands the expat experience can provide a safe space to process emotions and gain more tools for navigating this transition.
Being an expat is a journey of transformation and growth, often accompanied by some degree of loss. The challenges of life abroad are not talked about enough, and expat living is sometimes romanticized, which can create shame if we experience difficulties. Acknowledging these challenges and embracing our vulnerability doesn’t make us weaker—it highlights our courage and strength in navigating this transition.
If you feel stuck or overwhelmed by this process, seeking professional support can be a valuable step. You don’t have to face this journey alone.